Whether it’s at the table, in the store, or at a friends house, we want to get beyond theory and share some real tactics that have worked for us or our friends.

Please share your thoughts and ideas and what’s worked for you! Or if you have a great resource, let’s showcase that too. Send your tips to clever@smartyparents.com and we’ll post them here!

TOP TIP:

Consistency and follow-through: No matter what the situation, we’ve learned it’s important to follow through on our promises and threats. So while there may be protest and tears on the front end, there will be kids who learn quickly and people enjoy on the back end!

Plate/Spoon/Food-Tossing: We subscribe to the theorty that if a child wants to toss it or play with it, they don’t want to eat it. We remove the offending object (the food, fork, etc.), which often means protest and opportunity for further discussion and behavior change. If it persists, then we remove it for that mealtime and they are finished eating at the table. We’ve only needed to do this a couple times before they get the picture.

Crying or screaming at the table: Now that our toddler boys have the capacity to reason a bit, screaming in protest at the table is no longer acceptable. Meal time, especially dinner, is family time. And we want to enjoy each other’s company. Freaking out about something isn’t called for and, in our house, means a “time out” in the bathroom or mud room. (i.e. away from the rest of us.) We’ve been amazed how quickly our boys want to return to the table to “be nice and sweet.”

Sharing: If our boys are not sharing a toy, we ask them to consider trading or set the timer for a short time (2-5 minutes) and then give the treasure to their playmate or sibling. We find that they usually hand off the toy before the timer goes off.

Greeting others: Since our boys were young, we have encouraged them to say hello and good-bye to people who we’re around when arriving or leaving an event, whether in the grocery store, at the library, at church, etc. Before arriving someplace where we’d expect new meet new people (say at a wedding or out to dinner with friends), we’d talk to them about who they were going to meet to prepare them and encourage them not to be shy. Now that they’re older, we continue to expect them to warmly greet others and even shake a new friend’s hand.